Excuse Me! I am MBA...

I thought about whether I should write about this topic or just leave it be. But considering the fact that I know a few of my acquaintances who are MBA, I thought I should share this with you my fellow readers. Think about it, don't be quick to judge. Let your belief system take a back seat first and really concentrate on what I have written here. That is all I ask of you.

MBA...what on earth is it? Well it is certainly not Master of Business Administration nor is it Media Bloggers Association. No, it is something closer to the heart. MBA here stands for Married But Available!

So, I am talking about all those people who are legally married and love their spouse very much but feel that they are still seriously available for a romantic tryst with the people they 'like' or 'whatever they can get' to put it crudely. Those who are in an unhappy marriage and feel that they are now MBA are not included in this category because they have a reason to stray from their marriage.

I often ask myself as to why they do this? You can find them everywhere. Perhaps you too know some of them who deserve this title. Let me tell you about a friend's friend whom we shall call Thomas. He's a very rich businessman. He's got it all. A mansion, a trophy wife and four beautiful children plus two dogs. He is admired and looked up to where ever he goes. His wife is the love of his life and she is the most 'important' person to him. You admire them. You say to yourself, wow! They are an ideal couple.

Then one weekend, you go to a pub to enjoy the ambiance there and you see Thomas in a dimly lit corner with a woman around his arms. You think nothing of it...you look away and then you see them smooching. Something is wrong somewhere.

The next day, you see Thomas at a party with his wife. You decide to talk to him because you are his friend. You tell him that you saw him yesterday with a woman and then he admits it and says that his lady friend knows that he's married. He has told his lady friend that he loves his wife very much and that this lady friend will be his girlfriend until she finds someone else. She's just a 'time pass' for him. "I always need to be around the people who love me", he says to you. You know for sure that Thomas is not just seeing his lady friend behind his wife's back but he's also sleeping with her. You are disgusted with what Thomas had told you and you walk away. You look at his beautiful wife...she's smiling and talking to her friends. Thomas is right beside her, leaning now and then to kiss her just like what he had done to his other woman the night before. You walk away hoping in your heart that the 'moral police' will arrest him.

This is just one profile of an MBA culprit. There are too many out there...just like Thomas. They are not only men but also women. Again I stress here that these people NEVER commit to their lovers. They remain happily married. The MBA do love their lovers but do not have a meaningful relationship with them. Most of the time it is purely physical.

There are so many questions that I'd like to pose to the MBA. No I don't want to judge them, just understand them that's all. I think that deep down inside, they truly don't mean to hurt their spouses or even 'cheat' on them. I asked a friend of mine as to why he is MBA and he told me that he is just not meant to be a one woman man although he's completely devoted to his wife. He told me that they have a great intimate relationship but he's just not meant to be monogamous.

Well I have come to theorize that perhaps we humans are not meant to live a monogamous life regardless of our gender after all. Some of us have very strong primal needs that have to be fulfilled. Marriage is just an institution to cage those needs. The right and proper thing to do. The underlying message here is that we all seek for freedom in different ways I suppose. Breaking away from the shackles of truth, love, marriage, honour, responsibilities etc. Just to be free and do what we really want...but then again...will we be really free doing what we want?

That Special Someone

I think the greatest gift in life is to be loved unconditionally by someone...no,no! I am not talking about your parents or your siblings. I am talking about being able to find that special someone in your life whom you'll be able to connect with spiritually,intellectually,intimately,emotionally and the list goes on.

Yes, you may be married and so can you absolutely say that your spouse is that special someone for you? If so, why do I always hear my married friends telling me this,"Did I marry the right person?" Why all this doubt about one's spouse?

Is it possible to find that special someone after you are married to someone else? You didn't realize this but you settled for second best because you had given up hope of ever finding that special someone. But then that person comes into your life after so many years of marriage!

By now, perhaps you would have had a couple of children and some of you may not have had any kids. This person enters your life. You know that there is something missing in your marriage. This person you realize is the missing link. What do you do? Fall in love and then have an affair with your Mr. or Ms. Right?

Yes, you have flowers in your hair and she's whispering loving words in your ear....you are feeling alive and young again. This person sees you in a totally different way. You are happy and you walk on air the whole day, you hum and look at flowers and smile or perhaps just think about the facial expressions of your lover. You have definitely fallen deeply in love with that person...your knight in shining armour, your sexy seductress. Wow! Life is good and you are in heaven. Then almost as fast as you began day dreaming, something slaps you back to reality.

All the lies that you are telling your spouse just so you can meet your loved one at a secret rendezvous. Worst still, the sex is so explosive that you cannot get enough of your lover and you don't want intimacy with your spouse anymore!

If your spouse finds out, you have come to the point where you have to make a decision...whether this new person in your life is worth all that you are going to give up your present life for. Or, if your spouse doesn't find out, you go on with your top secret affair till death do you part.

My friends, the latter hardly happens because the former happens many,many more times than the latter. Some people say that, 'The heart wants just what the heart wants..'

I often ask myself this question. "Why can't we be free to love whomever we want? " I also answer this question by saying that,"There are always grave consequences to one's actions."

People say we are not animals because we have feelings and the ability to think. So, the people who have feelings and the ability to think should therefore not even think about loving anyone they want. This will then come back to finding that special someone to love us unconditionally...free love will not bring us to that person only lots of luck and your gut feeling will.

Night and Ocean

Yes...Night and Ocean...two very different subjects to talk about. Yet, the ocean and night are related to one another. You can see night from the reflection of the ocean and the ocean is as dark as the night.

I have written what I will call a soliloquy cum poem. Read it for its meaning is as dark as the night and as deep as the ocean.

Are your eyes afraid of the night that they refuse to surrender to your will to sleep?

NIGHT! I wait for daylight but it is the night I want.

The night camouflages me into invisibility, you cannot see my tears nor can you see me cry desperately for help...

A peaceful night you say or a turbulent night...

but night is still night...can night be a silent night?

No! There is no silence in the darkness of the night...it is night not so because of the absence of light but by the betrayal of the sun that just went away slowly...

but even that and everything else is temporary.

Oh where is the OCEAN that invites me endlessly?

Beautiful you may be, but I'll be lost if I come to thee.

I cannot fight you because you overpower me with your absolute masculinity.

Your waves will toss and turn me into obscurity.

Yet knowing all this...let me still dive into you,

Let me see all your treasures...go on suffocate me please I beg of you!

Don't let me breathe...I have given in to you completely...

Oh ocean won't you take me?

Men with Long Hair

The other day, I was at my hair salon as usual waiting for my hairstylist to do his thing. I had decided to get a trim, dye and highlight my hair. It took nearly five long hours for my hairstylist whom I will call Jerry here to bring me to perfection. It was a Sunday and Jerry was terribly busy but since I was one of his loyal customers, I told him to take his time and that I was in no hurry to rush home.

So, I waited and finally, it was closing time...nearly 8.30pm. He suggested that I try his new cocktail of hair treatment creams and tonics that would enhance the colour of my hair and make it healthy. I agreed and then, when I was just sitting and waiting for the steamer to finish steaming my hair...it happened. Jerry had a long day that day and he decided to wash his long elbow length hair. I had always seen him with his hair neatly braided and well combed. I used to imagine the way his hair would look when it was not braided and undone. There, right in front of my eyes, Jerry undid his braid and tilted his head inside the wash sink and slowly started washing his long, straight hair.

To anyone else, it would have been nothing but just a man washing his hair standing up. But to me, wow wee! He was washing his hair in slow motion...he gently stroked his hair and as he did that, he covered all his hair with water and he looked extremely sexy doing that.

I didn't realize that my mouth had opened and I was salivating a little. He proceeded to shampoo his hair and at that precise moment when the golden liquid oozed onto his hair and scalp, it was so je ne sais quoi!

He then went on to gently massage his scalp and all I could see were his long, big fingers hard at work. He worked on his scalp until his hair was covered with white shampoo froth. At that moment, I wanted to be his hair so much.

I couldn't sit comfortably in my chair by now but I still watched him in deep silence as he rinsed every inch of his hair and each time he stroked and massaged it, I was in my fantasy world of temptation and debauchery.

I was so into watching him that he suddenly looked straight into my eyes while towelling his hair and quickly ran to me. Oh my goodness! I thought to myself. Did I send him the wrong signal? I mean I was just watching him secretly. He definitely didn't know that I was watching him. He quickly came to me and smiled and then he said that the steamer timer had gone off twenty minutes ago and neither he nor I noticed it. Oh okay. I was safe.

He then told me to hold on and sat next to my chair. As if him washing his hair was not enough, he had to blow dry his hair just next to me. The way he tossed and turned his hair....attacking it in the gentlest way, applying heat to it with a comb and making it surrender to his will. He reminded me of a snake charmer who would wrestle with his snake and domesticate it.

Hmmm, his hair was tamed and so was I...in a way. After that, he washed my hair as gently as he did his, blew dried it and I paid him for his services.

I walked out of the hair salon feeling very much alive that day. My dear hairstylist had unknowingly excavated the woman in me. Everything he did to his hair was very sexual to me. There is something sensual about men who have long hair. I realized it that day with Jerry. He is my good friend and he will always be a good friend. I am so attracted to men with long hair now. There's something raw and very masculine about men with long hair...I never knew that until I observed dear old Jerry. That simple gesture of washing his hair...I still think about it even now.