My Hero

No you are not Superman
Nor are you Ironman
You don't have a deep voice
and you don't have perfect eyesight

But you are my Hero
My one and only Hero
The one I admire
The only one I know

You are my Hero
because you love me so
you rescued me from my life of despair
when no one else cared

You put me on a pedestal with your true love
No one else knows except the heavens above
You are my Hero because you are my hope
You exist in my life and this is no joke

Your eyes hide behind your conservative spectacles
A geek you are to your friends and colleagues
But underneath your clothes I see my Hero
That's my territory...that's my glory

My Hero! My joy! My man
Oh wow! What a man! What a man!
You don't have to fly or save the day
just be my Hero...come whisk me away!

-SHF-

PAIN

It comes and goes like the monsoon rain

sometimes dragging through the whole day

sometimes never going away

It throbs and throbs...

all over my back and left arm

never slight and never calm

My Life! I am in a lot of pain

something that I cannot control

and now it's taking its toll

I tried to hide it from you

with my deep smile and bright eyes

but today I tell you no lies

Pain...I am going through it everyday

but your face and smile temporarily take it away

I know you are in your own pain too

your situation, your restlessness and the people

you tolerate through and through

These past two days, we are both in pain

mine physical, yours emotional...

But PAIN is PAIN

Your pain is in your SILENCE,

your helplessness and GRIEVANCES

My pain is in my body...

this PAIN tearing through ME

Writing this is painful

but I still want to write it, so that you'll read it

rest assured my love that ALL will be well

PAIN will go away in time to tell

PAIN go to hell

you are NOT wanted

you are NOT needed

PAIN go to hell!!

-SHF-

Where There Is A Will...

"Where there is a will, there is a way" is a familiar and well-known saying. However, only a few understand and act upon it. This saying underlines a very vital fact of life. Man is ambitious; he is full of desires. But all of them are not fulfilled, because they lack the force of will power.

Without determination and a strong will, nothing can be achieved. Determination is one of the secrets of success. Those who work hard are crowned with success, others are like cats that wish to eat fish but dare not wet their feet.

Napoleon believed that the word "impossible" was to be found only in the dictionary of fools. There is nothing impossible in the world for a man of steel, will power and unyielding determination. Take the example of Mahatma Gandhi, a frail man but a man of iron will and strong convictions. He won India her freedom through non-violence, "Satyagraha" and non-cooperation. A determined person takes hurdles as a challenge and overcomes them with hard work and tireless efforts.

History is full of many bright examples to show us how people turned seemingly impossible work into a possibility and success. If you have an unshakable, resolute will and carry on your efforts, you, too, are bound to have what you want.

I have a goal. It requires great planning and precise timing. I need to believe in myself first and I need to visualize my goal. I have the will, I know that. My body's strong but I need you to be there for me. I NEED you to be by my side and support me. I am reaching out to you my LIFE.

Will you be there? Will you care? I know you WILL for you keep me going.
I only have you and eventually nobody else. Do you know that? Will you still LOVE me tomorrow? Yes you will and for me...where there is a WILL, there is a WAY to YOU...

-SHF-

What Is Love?

( Adapted from an interview that I had with a woman who is in love with another man but since she's married, she's been jailed for committing adultery...this is her story...)

We all take love for granted these days. Love has become such a cliche. There was a time when there was honour, valour and courage in love. People used to wage war for love, lovers shed blood and lost their lives all in the name of love.

Where have all the true lovers gone? I have only discovered love...falling in love now. At this time of my life. I never knew that I would fall in love, that too hopelessly, head over heels in love. Love came slowly to me but when it reached its destination, it has built a cozy nest and now, it is only growing stronger and stronger. It is like a benign cancer, consuming me. It has consumed my thoughts, my being and my very existence.*

When I think back to my teenage years, I remember being infatuated with alot of guys. My infatuation with the guys then was not in any way sexual. It was more celestial. Then as I grew older, in my early twenties I think, there was this immense sexual attraction towards some men. Very so often, we tend to misinterpret sexual attraction/love with true feelings of love. This is where you want to love the guy but you are not in love with him. This love is sometimes a little difficult to tell because a thin line separates sex from love. It can be confusing. Great sex itself becomes a gel factor in keeping the relationship going.

However, if after all the great sex you have had is over and then you find that you have nothing in common with him and that you don't find his breath divine anymore in the morning...then you know that your relationship has fizzled out. You'll start looking for a connection with someone else. Someone who'd really understand you, know where you come from and you have butterflies in your stomach when you hear his voice.

*Now coming back to that feeling. Yes, he gives me butterflies in my stomach when I hear his voice. I think about him all the time. We have not been intimate yet but the thought about being physically together with him as one itself is so explosive. Indescribable. He makes me feel good. I didn't know that I was alive before knowing him. I was just leading my life as society wanted me to. In a way I am still trapped. But I know that he'll come rescue me soon. He will come to me and take me away in an airplane.

I know that I am in love with him because not only do I care for him very much, but I want to be with him all the time and take good care of him. I want to start a family with him. Something that I had not given any thought to before. I love his family too. I love his good side and I tolerate with plume his bad side.

I long to be there for him when he comes back from work. I want to feed him, bathe him and pamper him. I want to wash his clothes and dry his underwear like it's a national flag with pride. I want to show him how much I love him. I feel that I am not complete without him. I want to marry him. This love I feel for him is growing stronger and stronger each day. I know that he loves me too and that he'll be happy with me by his side. He told me once that no matter what happens, he'll never stop loving me. To have his love forever even if we don't meet...it is wonderful to know that. But we WILL meet and I WILL finally be with him.

So, here am I, ready and willing to leave this life of mine behind just for him. It is so that we can lead a new life together. This time with him is forever. So this is love...my true love for him. I have come to terms that nothing can tear us apart...fate just has to take a back seat.

-SHF-

I Love Your Smile

My love, I just love your smile

a day never goes by without my seeing your smile

My darling, I love your smile

you light up my life just with your smile

My sweetheart, I love your sexy smile

for when you smile,

it's as though the stars are dancing with bells on their feet

and the moon is swaying to a beat

My dearest, I need you to smile

for when you smile,

my world is at peace

and you and I can sleep

You have a black mole on the right side of your cheek

how I wish your mole I can touch and lick

how I wish I can kiss your sweet lips

the very lips that create your wonderful smile

Gosh! I love your smile.

-SHF-

Your Voice

I love to hear your voice

sometimes high pitched and sometimes broken

sometimes so soothing when words are spoken

You don't phone me but I phone you

just to find out things about you

just to hear your voice

and make love to you

Your voice gives me energy

the kind of strength to carry on

...living my days here

just talking to you on the phone

In my memory etched is your voice

I cannot forget it nor ignore it

I hear you all the time

calling out my name

You're mine, you're mine

Your voice excites me

Your voice calms me

Your voice thrills me

Your voice forgives me

Talk to me darling

call me you must today

for only your voice can take my pain away

-SHF-

Helpless

I am helpless my love
For I am not there with you
Fear comes to my mind
and then fear separates me from you


I am helpless my love
for I love you too much
I need your touch
I want you so much


I am helpless my love
for I lead a double life
In one life I exist
and the other life is my wish


I am helpless my love
I can't go on living like this
the torment I am going through
just to be with you...just to be with you



I am helpless my love
but I am prepared to leave everything
just to run to you
just for you...just for you



I am helpless my love
for I want to have your child
I want us to be three
our little family


I am helpless my love
but for all this to become true
I'd have to hurt the people who love me too
I'd be a pariah in my neighbourhood


I am helpless my love
I don't care anymore
I WON'T sacrifice our love for them
I don't give a damn


I am helpless my love
please come rescue me
take me away from this existence
share with me your life...give me life


Help me! Help me my love
Stand by me
Speak for me
Hold me


I am helpless my love
are you helpless too
Don't say no matter what you'll love me forever
but promise me that you'll BE WITH ME EVER AFTER.


-SHF-

BLOOD

You and I have the same blood group...

What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine

I feel you flowing in my veins...

do you feel me in yours too?

My blood is saturated with yours

It's hard to comprehend isn't it?

I just don't only love you but I flourish inside you

And you move inside me too.

What kind of love is ours?

Are we married to each other's souls?

Do we feel and think alike?

Our blood is our gold

Sacred is our blood

boiling with desire

fusing in gigantic electric waves

gushing through the plumbing system of life itself

I'd spill my blood for you

I'd drain my blood for you to live

For I know you are mine to have

Your blood is mine as mine is yours.

-SHF-

Sometimes....My Lover, My Life

Sometimes an idea comes to my heart,

it tells me that you are made for me

before we met, you were living in the stars somewhere

but you were called to earth just for me

Sometimes an idea comes to my heart,

as if your body and your eyes are to me, precious

your black cropped hair is mine to caress

your succulent lips and your strong arms are my treasures

Sometimes an idea comes to my heart,

as if there is heavenly music playing in the background

It's our wedding night my love and you are removing my veil

I bury myself in your chest blushing profusely

and your arms embrace me so tightly

Sometimes an idea comes to my heart

as if you'll love me like this for my entire life

you'll look at me affectionately like this forever

you are NOT a stranger but my lover

These are ideas that flow in my heart.

-SHF-

A Letter To My Husband

My darling dearest,

It's been days since I last saw you on webcam. I know that times are hard there where you are. The separation that we are going through now is just temporary. Yet, I cannot help but worry about you my darling.

I think about you all the time. I am so deeply in love with you that I am weak without hearing your voice and looking at your face. I need your strength to go on living my days here. I will only be complete when I am there lying in your strong arms.

Do you know how much I am suffering emotionally here without you? Not being able to sms you whenever I want, not being able to call you many times a day or even talk freely to you on the phone? I only have your photos to take with me to bed. I dress in front of your photo, I cry in front of your photo and I laugh in front of your photo.

I must have kissed your photo a thousand times today. When can we be free from all these challenges my darling? I didn't know that as much as love can bring so much joy, it can also bring immense pain. The pain is so unbearable my love. I feel as though something has cleft my heart in two. I am just existing here. Going about my day like a robot. I don't have you to breathe life into me. I don't really know how I had ever lived before knowing you. Darling you have such an impact in the way I think, feel and move. I wonder whether you too suffer the same intensity of pain that I am feeling without you right now.

Why don't you try to call me my love? Why do I have to call you always? You have my phone number. You say that you miss me so much and yet you don't take the effort to call me? Don't they have phone shops that allow you to make international calls there? Sometimes my love for this is what I feel right now...I am going the distance for you and you don't seem to do the same. It is that extra effort that you put in wanting to keep in touch with me that I don't see from you. I feel sad about it.

Perhaps I am wrong. I thought I'd say this to you. Whom else can I tell such things but to the man I love and adore very much...you my husband.
You've told me alot of things recently that don't make any sense to me. All this cloak and dagger operation when I am talking to you on the phone. I hope that when all these troubles clear, you will explain to me and I want to be satisfied with your explanation my darling.

I am your wife. You are my husband. Know in your heart that I am there with you always. My darling, you have a bad fever. I wish I was there to take care of you. I wish I was there to kiss your forehead and nurse you...take the fever away. But I can't do that at the moment darling. I know that mama is taking good care of you.

Please tell her that I send her my love. Please send my kissess to our girls. I hope that you'll take them out for a movie on Saturday. I wish I could be there with you and our girls. We'll definitely have alot of fun. First, take a long stroll along the beautiful beach, you and I holding hands and we see our girls enjoying the sea and the breeze and running along the sea shore, and then go for a movie.

Please take care of yourself. Please darling, try to reduce your smoking. I am sure that you have been very tensed up these past few days and you would have smoked more than you should. I am very concerned about your health. I want us both to live a very long and fruitful life my sweetheart. I know that I can't call you over the weekend. I am going to miss you so much more. Once you are online my darling, you have alot of e-messages and videos that I have sent you. Until you come online, this is your wife signing off.

I love you so much. I can't imagine my life without you...a thousand kissess to you my darling.

Your Wife

-SHF-

The Lovers' Rain

Wow! It's raining...here's the rain (barish),

I am here and you are there

but the rain reminds me of you my Life

the rain brings me closer to you

You told me about the rain there...

couples running to seek shelter from the rain

you missed me so much

because you wanted my touch

Remember what you said to me about the rain?

The rain makes you want to kiss me under it...

Let the heavens shower us with their blessings of good luck

We will kiss in the rain...again and again and again...

It's raining here today

The rain reminds me that you are far, far away

I long for your kiss and embrace my love

I long to see your face

Yes, it's true what you said

That we're sitting for an examination now...it's a test of faith

We will both pass with flying colours

...and the day will come when we can freely be lovers

It is the rain and not the sun that will bring us together

The rain will cool our over heated desires

The rain is a joy forever

The rain is a joy forever.

-SHF-

You Mean Everything To Me

This poem was selected from a website. It is very meaningful and I dedicate it to the only man I love...my LIFE. This is for you and only you. I love you so much.


Words cannot say just what you mean to me
You’re the reason that I live
And I will cherish our moments through eternity
And to you my love I’ll always give

You let me know what true love really means
You’re so gentle, kind and sweet
And you have brought to reality…all my dreams
You alone have made my life complete

Loving you more and more each day
Passion and smiles along the way
With you the years flow by so gracefully
You mean everything to me

Together we can soar above the clouds
There’s no challenge we can’t dare
Our love is head and shoulders above the crowds
Love and Happiness…we’ll forever share

As years go by and as we grow
One thing for sure we two will know
There is no doubt our love was meant to be
You mean everything to me

-SHF-