What Is Love?

( Adapted from an interview that I had with a woman who is in love with another man but since she's married, she's been jailed for committing adultery...this is her story...)

We all take love for granted these days. Love has become such a cliche. There was a time when there was honour, valour and courage in love. People used to wage war for love, lovers shed blood and lost their lives all in the name of love.

Where have all the true lovers gone? I have only discovered love...falling in love now. At this time of my life. I never knew that I would fall in love, that too hopelessly, head over heels in love. Love came slowly to me but when it reached its destination, it has built a cozy nest and now, it is only growing stronger and stronger. It is like a benign cancer, consuming me. It has consumed my thoughts, my being and my very existence.*

When I think back to my teenage years, I remember being infatuated with alot of guys. My infatuation with the guys then was not in any way sexual. It was more celestial. Then as I grew older, in my early twenties I think, there was this immense sexual attraction towards some men. Very so often, we tend to misinterpret sexual attraction/love with true feelings of love. This is where you want to love the guy but you are not in love with him. This love is sometimes a little difficult to tell because a thin line separates sex from love. It can be confusing. Great sex itself becomes a gel factor in keeping the relationship going.

However, if after all the great sex you have had is over and then you find that you have nothing in common with him and that you don't find his breath divine anymore in the morning...then you know that your relationship has fizzled out. You'll start looking for a connection with someone else. Someone who'd really understand you, know where you come from and you have butterflies in your stomach when you hear his voice.

*Now coming back to that feeling. Yes, he gives me butterflies in my stomach when I hear his voice. I think about him all the time. We have not been intimate yet but the thought about being physically together with him as one itself is so explosive. Indescribable. He makes me feel good. I didn't know that I was alive before knowing him. I was just leading my life as society wanted me to. In a way I am still trapped. But I know that he'll come rescue me soon. He will come to me and take me away in an airplane.

I know that I am in love with him because not only do I care for him very much, but I want to be with him all the time and take good care of him. I want to start a family with him. Something that I had not given any thought to before. I love his family too. I love his good side and I tolerate with plume his bad side.

I long to be there for him when he comes back from work. I want to feed him, bathe him and pamper him. I want to wash his clothes and dry his underwear like it's a national flag with pride. I want to show him how much I love him. I feel that I am not complete without him. I want to marry him. This love I feel for him is growing stronger and stronger each day. I know that he loves me too and that he'll be happy with me by his side. He told me once that no matter what happens, he'll never stop loving me. To have his love forever even if we don't meet...it is wonderful to know that. But we WILL meet and I WILL finally be with him.

So, here am I, ready and willing to leave this life of mine behind just for him. It is so that we can lead a new life together. This time with him is forever. So this is love...my true love for him. I have come to terms that nothing can tear us apart...fate just has to take a back seat.

-SHF-